Dick Larkin

OK, we're just going to cut the crap here: this is John. Read this to discover how I just had my ass handed to me.

Yesterday I returned a phone call from Mr. Dick Larkin. He told me that he is a rep for The Yellow Pages (not an accurate name but you get the idea) that mostly caters to smaller communities. He was a jovial guy to chat with and customer of Zane + Zara's. His interest in speaking with me was all centered around our usage of Living Social. Living Social is one of the rapidly multiplying internet coupon sights. He was very curious as to why we, as a retail establishment, would utilize one of these internet coupon sights.

A quick study guide for an internet coupon sight. The vendor, Zane + Zara's, sets a coupon amount and some basic rules such as: how many can be purchased, when they expire, etc, etc. We chose to do a "pay $25 get $50 merchandise certificate that excluded food products. The devil, as they say, is in the details. The basic 50% off coupon strips us of any profit because of our cost structure. You add on to this that when Living Social cuts us our check for the coupons purchased they take 40% of the $25 purchase price and then send us the balance. So, what we agreed to was allowing a customer to come into our store, purchase $50 worth of merchandise and we would receive $15. We lose money on every person that redeems a coupon but for the very few who over-spend the coupon amount. What we did get was a very high percentage of customers who have never been into our store. Whether they ever come back in is up to debate and will only be answered by time. Mr. Larkin has most assuredly made an attempt to keep these potential customers from ever returning.

As I said, Dick was a jovial guy to speak with. I had already been in contact with The Roscoe Village Chamber of Commerce about their offer to act as a conduit between local businesses and Groupon. I wanted them to know of our experience with Living Social and how the cost structure is very expensive for a retail establishment. They put me in contact with Groupon itself. I told them that while their idea is great they needed to be more upfront with stores and how the costs and benefits can be skewed based on what type of business they operate. When Dick began to question me, I was primed and ready. I absorbed his whole sob story about being driven out of business by Walmart and how he was trying to help small town businesses succeed. He was very upfront about really wanting to talk about internet coupons and what effect they had on our store. Boy did we talk and talk and talk and talk.

I suppose what has really gotten under my skin is how many of the facts for his blog have been altered.

• This one hurt too: the coupon almost put us out of business. If a bad advertising decision put us out of business, we're living far to close to the edge to begin with. We have made many bad decisions and we're still kicking. The good thing is that we seem to be making far more good decisions than bad ones. If I'm not mistaken, this is how it's supposed to work.
• All coupons have been redeemed and we have received a $1500 check from Living Social. Well, in truth only 92 coupons were sold (very successful) and only about a dozen have been redeemed. As for the check from Living Social, not at the store yet. Maybe in a week or so. 
• Let's look at, "Didn't the coupon holders buy more merchandise than just the $50." "Not a chance!" is my quote. The truth is the majority have kept their purchases close to the $50. A few have  bought above the amount of the coupon, though. I suppose it's the semantics here that bother me. "Not a chance!" makes me sound angry and put-out by the customer. I don't think anyone who knows or has interacted with me thinks that I would blame a poor decision by myself and Russell on our customer. We actually like what we do and the people who come into our store.
• The idea put forth by Dick that he initiated the conversation about us perhaps having future benefits from the customers brought in by the coupon and my saying, "It's possible but I don't think so. We attracted every cheapskate in Chicago..." Actually is a total flip of that piece of conversation. I have said to Dick, The Chamber of Commerce, our neighbors and the Groupon rep, that the one thing that might salvage this coupon for us is the new customers coming into our store. If they are only motivated by the "deal" well, yes, we will probably never see them again. If they are interested in, what we think, is a unique shopping experience and a fair price for great products then, we'll see them again. 
• Oh, and I love this one, "John, who owns a high-end pet boutique in Chicago." OK, yes the vaseline on the lens did obscure my face but, just how dumb is Dick? Everyone put the call out, how many John's own high-end pet boutiques in Chicago who just participated in an internet coupon. Actually, just how many John's own pet boutiques in Chicago. Should I start expecting invitations to little cocktail get-togethers so all of us boutique owning Johns can make shop talk?
• This is my last bullet point as I'm beginning to bore myself and my hurt feelings are starting to subside. (It's the ice cream.) 1500 sq ft is NOT TINY damn it! People say it every day, "wow, this place goes back further than it seems." The condos above us are 3 bedrooms and 2 baths. We have families living above us. And have you seen our heating bill during the winter. We may not be Macy's but we are NOT TINY. Dick's dog is TINY. Oh, and on a side-street? Side-street my ass! We are directly on W Roscoe. We are surrounded by great food and cool shops and a gym that is going to be the death of me. If W Roscoe is a side-street than so is Southport and we have TWO grocery stores. Has that Jewel on Southport even got a roof yet? And it's 4 steps down, not seven. I don't know why that bugs me but it does. I put a mop to those steps at least once a week and there are 4 of them. If ya' can't count, ya' can't blog Dick.

Now, what has been the point of all this ranting? Well, the point is Dick. He reps for The Yellow Pages and his lunch, I assume, is being eaten by the internet coupon businesses. If you are the correct business, they offer a huge bang for your buck. We, along with thousands and thousands and thousands of businesses have never even thought of taking a Yellow Pages ad. Think about it, when was the last time you actually picked up a Yellow Pages? If I need information, I go to my computer, my web-enabled phone or the GPS in my car. The Yellow Pages are a dying collection of ads and Dick is going to fight that fact with every weapon he has at his disposal. I thought I was just chatting with a sympathetic ear and made ANOTHER mistake. 

Am I thrilled with how our coupon has worked for us? No. Will we ever repeat this mistake? Probably not but at my age the memory is the first thing to go. Will I allow Dick's blog to go unchallenged? Well, we have that answer, don't we? Dick, I've visited your Facebook page and I don't recognize you or your dog but, if I were you, I wouldn't come in Zane + Zara's again. You see, I'm a forgive and forget kind of guy but Zane and Zara, that's their names up on the marque.  They might very well take you out back and beat you about your head and shoulders with a stuffed squirrel and then force you to watch as Zara bites its little head off. I've seen these two in action. It's not pretty.

John Ira Smith

Zane + Zara's

The Politics of Saving a Life

Hey, it's Zane. Once again, John has commandeered my blog to go off on a rant. I have to say, with much discussion, Zara, Zelda and myself are totally behind him. Please read on:

The Politics of Saving a Life

Wow, to say that I was taken aback is putting it mildly. Honestly, not taken aback; more disappointed. I certainly did not find myself surprised. I find myself very sad. Zane + Zara’s tries to do a Rescue Day each month. It is our way of giving back to our own community. We are firm believers in the rescue process. In our house we are all rescues. We were taken out of bad situations and given new chances. We are all grateful. 

Up until now, all of our Rescue Days have been breed specific: Dobermans, Dachshunds, Pugs, Golden Retrievers, etc. What we have been lacking is a, how to say it, general Rescue Day. You know, come one come all, everybody, every size and shape, welcome. So we’ve gone fishing...and fishing, and fishing, and fishing. We’ve tried everyone that we can think of to no avail. And the excuses are completely understandable: “If we do a rescue at Zane + Zara’s during the weekend, then those are dogs that won’t be at the main facility and potential adopters will be less than please.” I totally agree. If people are used to shopping at one place why split the merchandise?

Not long ago I received a phone call from Chicago Canine Rescue. Mind you, they’ve sent me packing before so I was intrigued. You see, a number of their volunteers shop at Zane + Zara’s and I, shamelessly and with vigor, would always tell them that we’d LOVE to do a Rescue Day for CCR. So you can imagine I was more than happy to “chat up” the lovely young lady on the phone that day. We talked and talked and, as God is my witness, we seemed to be on the same page. Until...Yeah, there is always an UNTIL. She made mention that a member of their board of directors is, none other than (drum roll please) the owner of Dog-a-holics. OK, everyone who thought this was water under the bridge, raise your hand. Seriously, raise your hand. Mine’s up. Even Zane, Zara and Zelda’s are up.

Well, the brakes were slammed on the whole conversation. I explained that there was some bad blood between Zane + Zara’s and Dog-a-holics. I told the nice young woman that while I wasn’t sure what caused the bad blood but that it culminated with a phone call to Zane + Zara’s telling us to stop stealing their customers. I said that while I would be more than happy to forge a nice relationship with Chicago Canine Rescue, they are after all just 4 or 5 blocks from our front door, she had better clear it with the board member in question. That was the end of that conversation. And I thought the last I’d hear from CCR.

Until, there’s that UNTIL Monday night around closing. As I’m pulling in our sign in walks the young lady with whom I spoke. She came to deliver the bad news that CCR would never be able to  utilize Zane + Zara’s. “It’s a conflict of interest,” she said. Now my reaction was rather nonplused as this was what I expected. Russell, on the other hand, was not happy. “All we want to do is help the dogs. How is it that one person can stop that process?”

“Well, it’s a conflict of interest.”

“Really? And what about all of the other sponsors? Just how did they get past this conflict of interest.” Take a moment and check out the CCR web-site. I see lots of conflicts. Just how did they get to make a difference? 

She stopped, as if she actually didn’t know that CCR had other pet industry sponsors. They do, all you have to do is peruse the CCR web-site. Pet stores, photographers, trainers, etc, etc. Ugh!

You know, I’d be inclined to just let this whole thing drop but for the idea that a pathetic political game is being played with the lives of animals. The idea bandied about when we chatted on the phone was that we could have a Rescue Day where dogs in foster homes could spend a day at our store. These are dogs that really don’t get much face time with the public as they’re in temporary homes. What a perfect idea. They aren’t in the main facility so we would not interfere with that and they tend to be forgotten unless the foster family can no longer care for them. We also offered our video monitor in the store to display pictures of dogs in foster care with little notes about them. 

Now I have to be completely honest here. From what the nice lady said, the issue was never even brought up to the owner of Dog-a-holiocs...as far as she knows. Other persons squelched the idea because they didn’t want to ruffle the feathers of said board member. What a load of crap. So dogs will go without forever homes just to mollify the ego of a bitter member of the board at CCR. I just want to vomit. I have to wonder is the Red Cross managed like this? What about the March of Dimes. Or, close to my heart, The America Cancer Society. Does PAWS operate like this? Should I not run the Chicago Marathon for PAWS because they have a relationship with, I don’t know, Wigglyville? What the hell people! Is this the Politics of Saving Lives today?

This is a call to arms....for the three people who actually read this blog. Pick up the phone and call Chicago Canine Rescue (773-697-8848) and lodge a protest. Tell them they are idiots for biting an outstretched hand. Tell them to reconsider. And then pick up the phone once again and call Dog-a-holiocs (773-857-7600). Tell them that this heavy handed approach to being on the CCR board must stop. Every avenue available must be taken when it comes to finding forever homes for homeless pets. 

Your humble servant...pissed off again,

John Ira Smith

Zane + Zara’s